Sometimes, after such a breach of financial trust, there's no way to heal the relationship. ... Financial infidelity, though, includes more than hiding credit card and bank accounts. Withholding details about financial decisions or hiding a gambling addiction also can poison a relationship.
"Infidelity can hit the pocketbook and wallet, too, when one spouse spends, borrows, withholds or hides money without telling his or her partner," Newman writes. "Such financial infidelity can damage a marriage just as much as the sexual type, if not more so."
Here are some steps you can take after the damage has been done.
Financial infidelity is viewed as a “premeditated crime” because hiding or lying about money takes active and deliberate planning. And many people view it as worse than cheating, physically, on a partner. In the case of abuse, this is a completely justifiable “crime.”
Practical strategies for dealing with financial infidelity
5 things you can do to begin rebuilding trust are:
Reasons for Financial Infidelity. People keep financial secrets from their partners for a variety of reasons. Most often, they're simply trying to avoid getting into a fight over money. Sometimes, however, concealing money matters can be a symptom of a deeper problem in the relationship, such as fear or lack of trust.
Financial infidelity occurs when couples with combined finances lie to each other about money. For example, one partner may hide significant debts in a separate account while the other partner is unaware.
The consequences of hiding money from your spouse or partner
Others hide money because they're embarrassed over the way they handle it. But when partners have financial secrets, it's a sign of deeper relationship concerns. It's never just about the money; money can represent feelings of shame, fear, mistrust, and more.
Rebuilding trust when you've hurt someone
If you aren't married, you have no obligation to share the details of your financial life with your partner. And even if you are hitched, there's no law that says married couples have to divulge their finances to each other.
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