Enabling behaviors are those behaviors that support our addicted loved one's chemical use. By not allowing the addicted person to accept the consequences for their actions…by providing the pillow each time they stumble or fall…we are enabling their chemical use.
The term “enabler” generally describes someone whose behavior allows a loved one to continue self-destructive patterns of behavior. This term can be stigmatizing since there's often negative judgment attached to it. However, many people who enable others don't do so intentionally.
This may help you identify a problem.
While it is likely that anyone who is negatively enabling an addict is codependent and anyone who is codependent is probably an enabler, the two terms, enabling behavior and codependency are not interchangeable. It is more accurate to think of enabling as a behavior that is part of co-dependence.
The Difference Between Helping and Enabling
Helping can be defined as doing something for another in situations where they truly can't help themselves. On the other hand, enabling is doing something for a person who is totally capable of doing things for themselves.
The key to breaking the pattern of enabling is to return responsibility to the person it belongs to. This involves setting boundaries between yourself and your loved one. You can no longer attempt to take on responsibility for anyone else's actions but your own.
Female enabler is a self esteem boost that aim at reducing the societal stereotype that keeps girls out of school in Africa.
Signs of codependency include:
8 Tips for Overcoming Codependence
The signs and symptoms vary from one addiction type to another, but some common symptoms of addiction include:
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
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